Taboo Topics in Music Therapy- Part One

Image by Mr.Thomas via Flickr

It was time. I hadn't been to or presented at a conference since March of 2008 in Cherry Hill (that would be in New Jersey) (at the Mid-Atlantic Regional conference of the American Music Therapy Association) (or MAR-AMTA for short) (MAR for even shorter) (I mean, geez!).

So I started to think to myself, "what can I talk about that hasn't been talked about before? Or that I haven't talked about before? How can I make this useful for people?" 


I've done presentations about working with adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities and autism, countertransference, looking at power and control, using music therapy to support people with disabilities who have been abused (which is an awful lot of people), survival skills for new music therapists, the myth of the perfect music therapist, paying attention, feeling powerless as a therapist...


What could possibly be left?


Oh, yeah. The stuff nobody talks about in the music therapy field (or so it seems). Things like, "what do I do when my client starts to masturbate in the middle of the session?" or "my client seems to hate me!" Or "oh, my God, I think I have a crush on my client!" 


Those are actually only the very shiny surface of the whole collection of stuff we don't talk about as music therapists. The list, as I discovered when I did this presentation a couple of weeks ago, is endless! 


No. Seriously. 


I had a room full of music therapy professionals and students (thanks for the presentation love, guys!) coming up with item after situation after topic for me to add to the big list we were generating on the giant flip chart!


There are so many things that simply aren't addressed in school, in the literature, at conferences! 


And here's a taboo topic for you:  we music therapists can often make it seem as if our work is all sorts of "sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows!"


Well, okay. That can be true. Sometimes it does look all happy and easy, and sometimes it is fun, but music therapy is hard work! 


It's therapy! 


Being a music therapist can be hard work too. It's our job to say out loud to our clients the stuff  that isn't being said. 


And what I wanted to do with this presentation (and I think we accomplished that) was to say out loud the taboo topics in our field. The stuff nobody talks about or writes about, but that we have to deal with every day in our sessions.


My official "mantra" for the month:

It's the stuff we don't look at and we don't talk about that gets us into trouble.

Likely this is the same stuff people don't like to talk about in general, but, as music therapists, it seems (to me anyway) as if it would be a good idea if we're willing to look at the stuff that makes us uncomfortable. 


After all, we're asking our clients to look at the things that make them uncomfortable. Aren't we?


[Coming up next time: The handout from the conference]

Finally back on track

Image by oddsock via Flickr

You may well be wondering where the heck I've been for the past month and a half!  Frustratingly enough, my clients were probably wondering the same thing.


As it happened, I had to undergo some unanticipated surgery to correct a rather painful medical situation. 


All I can say about it at this point is: boy, am I glad that's over! And, yes, I'm feeling much MUCH better, thank you for asking (because I know you're nice, and I know you will ask). 


Oddly enough, there are actually several good things to say about all this:


Thing #1: My two kindly music therapy colleagues went to almost all of my clients (at my request) and let them know that I would be having some needed surgery and I would be out for a little while. And they emphasized the fact that I planned to return. 


Thing #2: I have a full-time job. I have good health insurance. I have lots and lots of sick time, because I very rarely get sick (yes, I did just knock on wood). I do not take this fact for granted!


Thing #3: I have two neighbors (both women in their 70s) who were absolutely amazing after my surgery. They checked in on me, they ran errands for me, and they just made sure I was alive and everything was okay. What phenomenal gifts they are! 


Thing #4: I discovered that "recovery from surgery" means "lie on the couch and can't do much of anything". Yes. Well. I did a lot of that.


So. Now that I'm back to work, I can also be back to blogging. Thank goodness! 

What's that you say? No clothes?

Image by gynti_46 via Flickr

Periodically, when I'm minding my own business and doing a music therapy session, I will have the experience of one or the other of my clients suddenly deciding that removing his or her clothing would, at that very moment, be the most effective means of communication. 


Ahem.


I mean. Really. Must you? 


I don't know about you folks, but I am fairly certain that this particular topic was never covered (if you'll pardon the accidental pun) in music therapy school. 


As long as I've been a music therapist (and, let's face it, it has been quite a long time), I've never quite come up with a response that I could really say I'm happy with when I'm faced with a naked person in one of my sessions. 


Obviously, my usual response (did I say "response"? I meant "reaction") is to remind the person that we keep our clothes on in music therapy, because it keeps us all safer. And, if the person is not actively attempting to get his/her clothing back on, I do tend to offer to assist. 


All of which  may or may not be the "right" thing to do, but that's how it usually plays out.


Okay. So we all know I'm not a behaviorist. And I don't do activities. And my approach as a music therapist is generally to try to understand what the heck is going on when my clients are using whatever action they're using in order to make their point (presuming, of course, that they have their own personal reasons for choosing this particular action) (thank you very much). 


And, being me, I try to pay attention to my own emotional responses, because my experience has been that people who don't use speech will often try to get me to feel what they're feeling so I "get" what they're trying to convey to me. 


In the past two weeks I've had one man yank down his pants and underwear mid-session, and I've had a woman remove her shirt and bra (several times) in her session.


And I'm trying to make sense of these things.


So, if you don't mind, join me as I stumble along through my thought process, trying to understand what all this nudity is about.


Generally, I start with: what is this person trying to say to me?


Sometimes it's "I need a bathroom, and you weren't picking up on any of my other cues." (That's usually the first thing I ask about, because it has to be the worst thing in the world to need a bathroom and to not be able to say, "Hey, excuse me, but I've gotta go. Now!")


It could be sensory discomfort. Reasonable enough, I suppose. But if the person wasn't trying to get naked every other time s/he was in music therapy, or wearing clothes...Well, it's hard to say. 


It could be anger. 


It could be a way to say, "I feel exposed in front of you, Miss Music Therapist, asking me all these questions and paying way too much attention to me!" 


Or, in other words, "You're making me uncomfortable with all this music therapy, lady! Now I'm going to make you uncomfortable. How do you like me now?"


I suppose it could also be a way to ask me a question, such as "how safe am I if I expose myself to you, Roia? Will you hurt me? Shame me? Ridicule me? Violate me?"


Or "how will you act toward me if I do something considered taboo (since I can't tell you with words about the difficult things that have happened in my life)?"


Hm. 


As it turned out, with the woman, she did need to use the bathroom. But I still think there was more to it, because I'm still quite new to her (we've only had three sessions). I know she has sensory issues, but she also may be trying to learn something about me.


I'm not so sure about the man's motivation for pulling down his trousers. He didn't need a bathroom (I asked). He doesn't like leaving his session when it's time for us to end. He does have strong feelings toward me. I know I frustrate him because I can't fix it all by taking him away in a car. 


Sigh. 


As is often the case, I'm left with "I don't know." Sure, I have ideas, but I don't know.


And, as always, I tuck the latest bit of information into my head (along with all my interpretations) and keep on going. 


Until maybe someday when another action occurs, I'll have another tiny piece of the puzzle to add to my understanding of the person standing in front of me. Exposed.