Why, yes, yes I DO know it all! Why do you ask?

Image by Barnaby via Flickr

I have finally come to the realization that every single one of us has the private belief that we know the right way to do things. And everybody else who does what we do (or something not even remotely similar to what we do)  does not know the right way to do things.

One would think having worked in an institution for, oh, almost twenty-two years now, that I'd have made this discovery a good solid age ago. But...no.


And how is it (you may well be asking yourself) that I have come to this awareness and chosen to share it with you all here? Now? In this very moment?


Hmm. There must be a way to express this kindly and gently.


Let's just say that it astonishes me how frequently non-music therapist co-workers feel inclined to tell me exactly how and what I should do to be a "proper music therapist" to the clients in their care. 


I can, of course, only presume that the advice is offered in the spirit of being helpful. (If only these same people would be so helpful as to tell me a client has a horrible cold before I invite the person to come to music therapy.)


So there I was yesterday, feeling all kinds of "Humph! Who the hell do you think you are!?" and so forth, having had yet another of those sorts of interactions with a staff member. And I had to stop.


Yes. I simply had to stop.


Because, as much as I hate to admit it, I harbor the same exact rotten belief. I am just as strongly convinced that I know better than she does. 


And it's not as if I don't go around regularly making all manner of judgments with regard to how people are interacting with my (yes, my) clients, harping on about what they should be doing  with the guys and how they should be doing it, and on and on. 


And it's not as if I haven't opened my big yappy mouth about it often enough either. 


[Insert uncomfortable silence here.]


Well. 


So. There we are. 


More therapy anyone?


[In the spirit of common decency, I have to say that I also work with a lot of very supportive and cool people who seem to respect the way I do my job and expect me to know what I'm doing. But I still maintain that in our secret identities as "the one who knows", we all entertain this belief in some way or another. Which was really my point.]

What does it all mean?

The movie, "Precious", is opening tonight in various major cities. I don't think it's playing anywhere near me. I've been listening to bits about it on NPR, on Oprah and it was reviewed on the evening news. It's based on the book, "Push", written by a woman by the name of Sapphire. 

Needless to say, it's been getting a lot of good reviews in spite of being a very graphic and painful film to watch. 


The thing is, I'm not sure I really want to see it. 


And I wondered, as I watched an interview with one of the cast members, "what does the fact  that I don't want to see this film mean about me as a music therapist?"


I work with a lot of traumatized people. People who have intellectual and developmental disabilities have often experienced severe and chronic trauma. I hate that my clients have and continue to suffer this way. I hate that anyone suffers, frankly. 


It made me wonder, "Am I obligated, as a music therapist, to go and watch a film that portrays a young woman who is brutally abused by her family?"


It's not as if I'm in denial that people are abused. 


I guess it's pretty obvious I'm having some ambivalence (and guilt- ah, yes, the ever-present guilt) about my decision to not see this movie. 


The best explanation I can give (not that anybody was asking for one) is that I can only bear witness to so much trauma. I have a larger obligation (if we're talking obligations here- and I seem to be) to not expose myself to so much trauma that I can't even function as a therapist to my clients. 


Anyone else want to weigh in on this? Or am I the only one who obsesses about such things? 

Violence in the lives of people with disabilities

Gosh, I hardly finish publishing a blog about music therapists getting hurt on the job and I hear this on the news. It's truly a horrible, often hidden epidemic, and it must be stopped.


FLATBUSH (WABC) -- There are allegations of abuse Sunday against a state-certified care facility in Brooklyn.

The family of a 43-year-old mentally and physically challenged man claim he was brutally assaulted at the Institute of Community Living in Flatbush, and no one is saying how it happened.

Kimberly Creary is determined to get to the bottom of things, how and why her mentally challenged brother, Colbert, ended up hurt.

"His eye was closed, purple and burgundy, it was horrible," she said.

Colbert, who has limited speech, has lived at the Institute of Community Living for 15 years. The small, state-run facility houses those with mental and physical disabilities.

Kimberly got a call from staff on September 23, saying Colbert had been rushed to Kingsbrook Jewish Medical Center, suffering from an eye abrasion. But when she saw him, she was stunned.

"They don't know what happened," she said. "They told me he got up in the morning, took a shower and was fine and came to downstairs with eye like that."

Darrel Creary remembers his uncle being very agitated.

"He was very angry, pushing everyone away," he said. "I tried to feed him, and he wasn't trying to have that."

Frustrated, Kimberly called police. Officers from the 67th Precinct went to the facility, but Kimberly says staff told them that Colbert was not able to talk and was sleeping. So the officers left.

Then, a preliminary investigation by the state indicated that a worker had been placed on administrative leave, although it's not clear why.

The facility says that because of confidentiality laws, it could not discuss the matter. But Kimberly believes there is more to this story, possible criminal negligence and assault. She is meeting with the district attorney Monday.

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WEB PRODUCED BY: Bill King

No matter how many people in staff and support positions get hurt doing this work, folks with disabilities are way more vulnerable to abuse. I'm not saying it's okay that anyone gets hurt, but this is a difficult reality, and it needs to keep being noticed and brought out into the open so it can stop happening.