Beautiful and thought-provoking quote

From the transcript of the January 15th, 2012 On Being episode in which Krista Tippett interviewed singer/songwriter/author Roseanne Cash.

Ms. Cash: Sure. You know when I first became a performer, I was so anxious about it and it took me a long time to grow into it, because I thought that being a performer was about getting a lot of attention and I didn't want that much attention. I liked the writer's life. I liked the privacy and the solitude and being inside my own little mind cave. And over time I realized that it's not about the attention, it's about the energy exchange. I'm doing something for them, but they're doing something for me too, you know? And there's no hierarchy really. It's — and some nights that exchange is so beautiful, you know, I can feel my own energy stretching out to the far reaches of the room and theirs coming back. And there's something sublime about it, and also the temporal nature of it that at the end of the night it's over.

Ms. Tippett: Right.

Ms. Cash: It's like a monk's sand painting, it's wiped clean. And so you can't grab it, you know, which is part of the — the mystical beauty of it. You can't repeat it. You know, the next night might be just awful, like, your energy might not expand beyond two feet beyond you and they are not giving you anything and it doesn't work, but you know, that's the way life is.

Ms. Tippett: Yeah, it's that spiritual discipline of knowing impermanence.

Ms. Cash: Knowing impermanence and showing up even though you don't know what's going to happen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love that! 

"...showing up even though you don't know what's going to happen." 

Isn't that gorgeous?

Aside from the fact that it was just...overall, a beautiful conversation about creativity and music and spirituality and how it all melds together, this particular snippet just captured my attention instantly. 


Here's what I loved about it:


First, it is so absolutely descriptive of my daily experience as a more or less psychodynamically-oriented, relationally-focused music therapist. I am not (really, I am NOT), by nature, what one would call a "flexible" human being. However, many years of practicing music therapy using this approach (and taking part in my own therapy, of course) has gotten me to a point where "showing up even though you don't know what's going to happen" has become okay. It's a concept I've grown into and have come to embrace with a comfortableness I would never have imagined for myself. 


Second, I was drawn in by Roseanne Cash's sharing of her struggle, as a musician and as a writer (basically, as an artist), to come to terms with her art- playing, performing, being musically present, which artistic voice to choose, and what all of that means to her. 


Periodically, people will ask me, "Does one have to be a good musician to be a music therapist?" And, until very recently, I've always responded with what my clinical supervisor has said to me, which is: "Well, the more accomplished you are as a musician, the more you have to offer your clients." And that still makes sense to me. 


But, in a recent email conversation with my colleague, Brian Abrams (who just had a terrific article published in the Arts in Psychotherapy journal), I realized that not only do we, as music therapists, benefit greatly from this type of engagement with our experience as artists and musical beings, but, on some level, maybe because of our chosen professions, we actually need to go through that kind of a struggle. 


Put another way, I think a willingness to come to terms with our own sense of what it means to be a musical self and building an identity as musicians and artists enables us to be present to our clients in a more profound, authentic, and meaningful way. 


You might even say it prepares us to  "...show up even though [we] don't know what's going to happen."

Taboo Topics in Music Therapy- Part II- The handout

Here, as promised, is the handout from the presentation. If you'd like to use it in some way, please do. Just kindly give me credit, eh? 

Taboo Topics in Music Therapy

March 26^th, 2010

Mid-Atlantic Region Music Therapy Conference, Pittsburgh, PA

It’s the stuff we don’t look at and we don’t talk about that gets us into trouble.

Identifying Personal “Taboos”

Part 1

Clues that something may be going on in sessions that needs exploring (some parts of the following list have been taken directly from Pope, Sonne, and Greene’s book What Therapists Don’t Talk About: Understanding Taboos That Hurt Us and Our Clients):

• Avoiding certain topics
• Changes in how you are using the music in your sessions (i.e., using more music than usual, less music than usual, noticing a particular musical pattern, etc.)
• Doing the same thing with every client/group
• Finding yourself bored or unusually tired/drowsy during sessions
• Having a particularly strong reaction to a specific client
• Obsession
• Seeking repeated reassurance from colleagues
• Creating a secret
• Fantasizing or daydreaming about a client
• Increase in physically handling or touching a client
• “Forgetting” the therapy goals
• Feeling extremely uncomfortable with a client
• Feeling embarrassed by your reactions to a particular client

Part 2

In the process of exploring, ask yourself a lot of who/what/why/how/when/where questions, such as the following:

• What’s going on for me in this situation? What is my reaction to this client/group/staff person/situation? What’s going on in my life?
• Why am I reacting in this particular way? To this particular client/group/situation? What’s going on in the session?
• Whose need am I meeting?
• What information do I have/need to try to figure this out?
• Do I have this reaction to all of my clients or is it just with this person?
• How has my use of music with this client changed?
• Has there been an overall change in how I interact with this client?
• Has there been a role reversal (where I feel as if my client is acting more like a therapist than I am)? Why might that be?
• What is different about the way I’m interacting with this client versus how I interact with my other      clients?
• When did my behavior with this client shift? Was there a specific incident that I recall?
• Has a client (or have I) ever done something that put me in a very awkward or uncomfortable position? Have I worried that other people would find out?
• Have I ever tried to justify my behavior with a particular client?
• Have I been avoiding discussing this situation/my feelings with a trusted colleague or clinical supervisor? Or have I only talked about it peripherally or in an “edited” way?
• With whom can I discuss this situation and get some guidance/support?

Part 3

Situations/encounters/issues I’ve had in my experience as a music therapist that I have avoided talking about, feel ashamed about, I’m not sure how to handle, or that have made me very uncomfortable:

1.

2.

3.

Referring back to each of the situations you described above:

When (Situation #1) _______________________________________________happens/happened I feel/felt:  ________________________________________________. This affects/has affected me/my work in the following ways (i.e., made it difficult for me to work with a particular client/group, created an uncomfortable work situation, kept me from doing something I should have done, led me to do something I wouldn’t otherwise have done, or I don’t know if it has affected my work):

Some of the actions I take/have taken to address the situation/encounter/issues are:

a.

b.

c.

When (Situation #2) _______________________________________________happens/happened I feel/felt:  ________________________________________________. This affects/has affected me/my work in the following ways:

Some of the actions I take/have taken to address the situation/encounter/issues are:

a.

b.

c.

When (Situation #3) _______________________________________________happens/happened I feel/felt:  ________________________________________________. This affects/has affected me/my work in the following ways:

Some of the actions I take/have taken to address the situation/encounter/issues are:

a.

b.

c.

Looking at our resistance

Some of the reasons I have had for not talking about the above situations/encounters/issues are (try to be as specific as you can in describing your feelings and beliefs):

a.

b.

c.

Identifying Resources

Here are some people with whom I feel safe enough to discuss these situations/encounters/issues (i.e., a clinical supervisor, a music therapist whose work I admire, a current or former professor, a trusted colleague, a personal therapist, a group of peers, an online community- in all cases, bearing in mind the matter of client confidentiality, other resources, etc.):

a.

b.

c.

---

References, Books, and Articles I’ve Found That Are Helpful or Thought-Provoking

Bridges, N. A. (1998). Teaching psychiatric trainees to respond to sexual and loving feelings: The supervisory challenge. Journal of Psychotherapy Practice and Research. 7, 217-226.

Bright, R. (1996). Grief and powerlessness: Helping people regain control of their lives. London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

Corbett, A. (2009). “Words as a second language: The psychotherapeutic challenge of severe intellectual disability” (45-62) in (Cottis, T., Ed.) Intellectual disability, trauma and psychotherapy. New York: Routledge.

*Corey, G, Corey, M. S., & Calllanan, P. (1998). Issues and ethics in the helping professions (5^th Ed.). Pacific Grove, CA: Brooks/Cole Publishing.

Davies, A. & Sloboda, A. (2009). “Turbulence at the boundary” in  Odell-Miller, H. & Richards, E. (Eds.) Supervision of music therapy: A theoretical and practical handbook, in Schaverien, J. (Series Ed.) Supervision in the arts therapies, New York: Routledge. 

*Dileo, C. (2000). Ethical thinking in music therapy. Cherry Hill, NJ: Jeffrey Books.

Dileo, C. (2001). “Ethical issues in supervision” in Forinash, M. (Ed.) Music therapy supervision. Gilsum, NH: Barcelona Publishers.

Foster, N. (2007). ’Why can’t we be friends?’ An exploration of the concept of ‘friendship’ within client-music therapist relationships. British Journal of Music Therapy. 21(1), 12-22.

Gabbard, G. O. & Lester, E. P. (1995). Boundaries and boundary violations in psychoanalysis. New York: Basic Books.

Gabbard, G. O. (1996). Love and hate in the analytic setting. Northvale, NJ: Jason Aronson.

Hunter, M. & Struve, J. (1998). The ethical use of touch in psychotherapy. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.

Kim, J. (2009). First love- An idealized object in music therapy. Voices: A World Forum for Music Therapy. Retrieved from http://www.voices.no/mainissues/mi40009000333.php

Koo, M. B. (2001). Erotized transference in the male patient-female therapist dyad. Journal of Psychotherapy Practice and Research. 10, 28-36.

Kottler, J. A. (2003). On being a therapist (3^rd Edition). San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.

Kottler, J. A. & Carlson, J. (2003). Bad therapy: Master therapists share their worst failures. New York, NY: Brunner-Routledge.

Misch, D. (2000). Great expectations: Mistaken beliefs of beginning psychodynamic psychotherapists. American Journal of Psychotherapy. 54(2), 172-203.

Oosthuizen, H. (2009). “Some thoughts on being a white music therapist” Voices: A World Forum for Music Therapy. Retrieved from http://www.voices.no/columnist/coloosthuizen021109.php

*Pope, K. S., Sonne, J. L. , & Holroyd, J. (1993). Sexual feelings in psychotherapy: Explorations for therapists and therapists-in-training. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

*Pope, K. S., Sonne, J. L., & Greene, B. (2006). What therapists don’t talk about and why: Understanding taboos that hurt us and our clients. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

Richards, E. (2009). “Whose handicap? Issues arising in the supervision of trainee music therapists in their first experience of working with adults with learning disabilities” in  Odell-Miller, H. & Richards, E. (Eds.) Supervision of music therapy: A theoretical and practical handbook, in Schaverien, J. (Series Ed.) Supervision in the arts therapies, New York: Routledge.

Rolvsjord, R. (2006). Whose power of music? A discussion of music and power-relations in music therapy. British Journal of Music Therapy. 20(1), 5-12.

Searles, H. F. (1979). Countertransference and related subjects: Selected papers. Madison, CT: International Universities Press, Inc.

Van der Klift, E. & Kunc, N. (1994). Hell-bent on helping: Benevolence, friendship, and the politics of help. Retrieved 9/23/05 from http://www.normemma.com/arhellbe.htm

Ulman, K. H. (2001).  Unwitting exposure of the therapist: Transferential and countertransferential dilemmas. Journal of Psychotherapy Practice and Research. 10(1), 14-22.

Yalom, I. (1989). Love’s executioner and other tales of psychotherapy. New York, NY: Perennial Classics.

* Books that are particularly useful.

Copyright 2010 Roia Rafieyan

12/22/09 Quote- a patient defines music therapy

Florence Tyson is one of the foremothers of music therapy. And, happily, I've been at this long enough to remember her presence at  conferences back when I was a baby music therapist (she died in 2001).


Her book, Psychiatric Music Therapy: Origins and Development, (1981) has a quote from a patient at the Creative Arts Rehabilitation Center (which has since closed). I put it up over my desk at work, because I think it captures the essence of music therapy so beautifully. Evidently, Florence Tyson felt the same way, because she included it in her book (pp. 71-72).

In music therapy, the music therapist, by the very nature of musical accompaniment, makes a profound psychological statement to the patient. He says: 'With this musical experience I will journey with you from the beginning of the piece (your struggle) to the end (transformation). I will go with you through anxiety, rhythm difficulties, fantasies, whether you finish or not. I will listen to you speak, even musically.' The good therapist becomes aware of this statement and when warranted becomes a guide, brother, sister, the good friend. There is the basic reality of patient and therapist coming together, one human to another. 

With accompaniment assured, the patient can explore strengths and weaknesses, realize his or her own potentials, and define problems. A patient even may become, in a monumental step toward maturity, responsible for his or her course. This reality also may occur in a highly structured session as long as the structure is always realized by the patient to be directed toward his growth, stability and self-discipline -- as long as the demand aims at the patient's eventual responsibility and individuation.

I think that pretty much captures it, don't you?

The joy and rapture of questions

Image by Oberazzi via Flickr

People who read my blog know I'm a big fan of questions. And that I obsess over, well, everything. 


Why?


Because the only way to find out more is to ask more. And if we're not willing to ask ourselves questions, then we run the risk of walking around in life in a state of automatic. 


As music therapists, if we don't learn how to ask ourselves bigger and better questions (it really seems to be about learning how to ask ourselves better questions, I think), then our work stagnates. 


And we stop paying attention.


So I thought it was interesting (okay, yes, and delightful) that, in one day, I happened on two rather interesting items related to questions. I thought you might enjoy them as well, so I'm sending you along to have your own questioning party.


Here's where to go:

1. One is an excerpt from the book, The Interrogative Mood: A Novel? by Padget Powell. The entire thing  seems to be written in the form of a series of questions! And they're great questions! I've ordered it, and I'm awaiting it with great anticipation.


2. As if there weren't enough glorious questions in that bit of readery, I somehow discovered Jeffrey Tang's blog, The Art of Great Things. And, darn if he didn't just make a case in his most recent post for the good people of the world to ask the difficult questions. 


In keeping with the spirit of questioning, I have to wonder: What's next?

The Holiday Tour de Blogs

Since it's "The Holidays" and all, I figured I'd take a break from actual thinking and reflection about work to read about some other people's ideas and thoughts.  

Here are two I particularly liked:

1)  I was over reading Zen Habits, Leo Babauta's blog, and I thought this particular entry about "The Six Greatest Gifts You Can Give Your Loved Ones" had some very useful advice for music therapists as well.  I particularly liked #4, which was about giving your loved ones "a voice". He notes:

Too often our children or spouse might talk to us but are only met with a disinterested nod or other small acknowledgment, or we’ll make light or fun of what they say, as if it’s not important. But giving a person a voice, and showing that their words matter, will have a long-lasting different in their lives.

If we substitute "our clients" for "our children or spouse," and we acknowledge that people who don't use speech still have things to say and are making an effort to be heard, then I think this could just as easily be directed to those of us who work in institutions.

2)  Here's another interesting blog I happened upon today.  Ryan Howes has been interviewing well-known psychotherapists, using the same seven questions for each, and today he interviewed Glen O. Gabbard (someone whose work I have read and appreciated a great deal).  

Here's a particularly nice thing he said about what he likes about doing this work:

Therapists are paid to talk to interesting people all day. In this regard, we are in a privileged profession. The pleasures are many: connecting with someone at a profound level of intimacy that is rare in other situations, learning about other cultural and psychological perspectives on matters of great importance to the human condition, and helping others enrich their lives and make changes for the better.

Nice stuff out there to read while you're taking a break from celebratory adventures.  

A beautiful article

I just read a beautiful article in the online music therapy journal, Voices.  Since I haven’t been doing music therapy this summer, I shall have to temporarily refer you somewhere else for stories of music therapy.  Here is one that is truly worth a read.  And, if you’re like me, you’ll probably need a box of tissues beside you.

People who have things to say

Back in September I mentioned a new book, Music Therapy with Adults with Learning Disabilities.   I was reading it this morning (since I’m an incredibly slow reader, I haven’t gotten very far yet) and thinking how much I like the approach which seems to be used in the UK.  It reminded me of some papers I’d read online at the Paradigm website (not about music therapy) with regard to folks with intellectual and developmental disabilities.  Tony Osgood is my current favorite (or “favourite” as they say in England) writer from that collection (even though he is a behaviourist).  He’s written such thought-provoking commentaries as: “‘Suit you, sir?’:  Challenging Behaviour in Learning Disability Services”, “‘Doing it For Attention’: Non Physical Reactive Strategies”, and “‘Falling on Deaf Ears’: Self-Harm, Self-Injury and Ourselves:  Different Rules?”- all of which, in spite of the heavy material, are written with his wonderful sense of “humour” tossed in throughout.  

I think what I like best about Tony Osgood’s writing is that he is willing to poke fun at himself and he’s not afraid to fuss about the various organizational elements which, I think we’d mostly agree, figure strongly into the mix when supporting people with various disabilities.  

Tony Osgood seems to be the British counterpart to the United States’ David Pitonyak  and Canada’s Dave Hingsburger (I just discovered his blog!).   Definitely people who have important things to say.   And how nice of them to share so much of it on the internet where we, the masses, can access it, eh?

 

Quotes I have known and loved

I was reading through some notes in preparation for a radio interview I had today, and I found all these quotes that I wrote down.  Many of them, in my mind anyway, relate to being a music therapist.  Actually, I have pages and pages of quotes I really like, but I’ll start with this one:

“If I were to force open a rosebud by peeling back the petals, the results would look nothing like the beautiful flower it could have been had it opened naturally.”

(from the Daily Word, March 26th, 2003)

You know how you read something, or you see something, and you instantlyknow that it was meant to give you some sort of guidance?  Well, that was what it was like for me to read that passage.  

At the time I was coming to an awareness that I wanted my clients to move forward already- to grow (if you will) and flourish.  I also noticed my tendency toward rushing to interpret.   I wasn’t quite getting (yet) the idea that people will come to their realizations in music therapy when they’re ready to do so, and it will mean more because they came to the awareness  on their own.  

I can’t say that I’ve completely let that go, but the image of forcing a rosebud to open was a powerful one for me, and it helped me to see why my approach wasn’t that helpful.  

A variation on that theme would have to be a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“People only see what they are prepared to see.”

So we impatient folks, yet again, have an opportunity for learning in our work.  I certainly have, over the years, had to (regularly) ask myself what my hurry is, why am I so invested in the outcome, and whose need am I meeting here...not just in my work as a professional but in my personal life as well.   Hmm.  These are all good questions, and I think it’s time to reconsider them now.

 

A new book

I was minding my own business and surfing along on the internet when I found this book advertised:  Music Therapy with Adults with Learning Disabilities.  It’s edited by Tessa Watson.  Learning disabilities, for those of us who live in the United States, is the term used in Great Britain for people who have intellectual and developmental disabilities.  

Well, aside from the fact that I have a book problem in general, I had to buy it, for crying out loud.  I mean, it’s been my dream to write about this very topic for ages.  So instead I just blog.  Hm.  Anyway, I just got it in the mail, so I can’t tell you how brilliant it is yet, but I can only assume that, since it comes from Europe there will be a psychodynamic bent (at least I hope there will be).  

We shall see...